


In Another Life

by MirandaRoseOfSkywall (lostinmymindforever)



Category: Warcraft (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Criminals, Alternate Universe - Dark, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Future, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Slavery, Hurt Khadgar, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Torture, Implied/Referenced Underage Prostitution, Insanity, M/M, Magic Poison, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-30
Updated: 2016-06-30
Packaged: 2018-07-19 03:22:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7342621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostinmymindforever/pseuds/MirandaRoseOfSkywall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Suffering from a poison that leaves him trapped in his body while his mind travels between realities into different versions of himself, Khadgar struggles to find his way home and finally tell Lothar how he really feels about him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Another Life

**Author's Note:**

> Yes all of the warnings are there for a reason. This fic does get dark at times.

“What’s wrong with him?” Khadgar can hear the words, muffled as if through layers of wet fabric. He wants to say that nothing is wrong but can’t seem to make his mouth work, his eyes refuse to open. He doesn’t understand what is happening to him. There are more words, but Khadgar can’t make them out as the darkness envelopes him.  
-  
He stands trapped, watching as the demonic looking being runs it’s blade through his mentor, the closest thing he’s ever had to a father, the light rapidly leaving his mentor’s eyes. Khadgar screams out in rage, loss, frustration as the demonic figure prowls just out of range of him smiling a twisted parody of a grin as he stabs Medivh’s prone body once more. There is so much blood, too much, and Khadgar knows that nothing will be able to save him.   
Khadgar can hear footfalls rushing in behind him, looking back to see the soldier who joined his travel’s with Medivh and himself recently rushing to his side. The man is covered in blood, thankfully none of it his own, and Khadgar gives a thankful sigh of relief that he hadn’t lost everyone to that monster and it’s accursed followers.  
Lothar looks in horror as the demonic figure picks up Medivh’s prone body, tossing it into the barrier that separates it from Khadgar and Lothar. The demonic figure gives an unholy laugh and disappears, and with it the barrier it had erected. Lothar follows Khadgar closely as the young man rushes to Medivh’s body, watching with muted horror as they realize that Medivh is still alive, barely, but not yet dead. Medivh pulls Khadgar down, whispers something in his ear that Lothar can’t hear, and then falls still.   
Khadgar stands, the blood of his mentor on his face, tears unshed in his eyes. He looks broken and lost, and Khadgar picks up the body, carrying it out of this hall of horrors and into the waiting light of day.  
-  
Khadgar thrashes on his bed, the oppressive weight of something holding him down. He can’t see, he can’t hear, he can’t scream out in terror. Something is terribly wrong and he can’t even begin to interpret what it is before the darkness rushes in once more.  
-  
Khadgar sips at his coffee, watching idly as people pass by the window of the coffee shop, going about their busy lives. He knows he should be working on his school work, but his thoughts are too distracted to concentrate. Khadgar sighs, stretching a bit as he tries to focus back on what he needs to be doing, but then he sees Lothar once more.   
The older man is seated a few tables away, typing away furiously on his computer, his own coffee mostly ignored. Every so often he gives a soft curse, and if Khadgar hadn’t been so fixated on the man he wouldn’t have heard it.   
Khadgar knows that he’s being stupid, that he shouldn’t be crushing on his gym teacher, but god how the man makes him stupid with want. He hadn’t been planning on seeing him, half the time skipping gym so he didn’t have to be by the source of his constant frustration, but shortly after Khadgar had arrived at the shop Lothar had walked in the door, ordering a coffee and had sat down. If Khadgar had been smart he would have packed up his things and gone somewhere else, but Lothar had smiled at him in recognition and Khadgar had felt his knees turn to jelly so he sat there, too distracted to work on homework, trying not to stare at the object of his nightly jerk-off sessions.  
-  
Khadgar can feel a hand on his forehead, brushing back the strands of sweat soaked hair off of his face. He wants to open his eyes, but can’t. He’s paralyzed with fear, trying desperately to swim back to reality, but the darkness swallows him yet again.  
-  
Khadgar is on his knees, head bowed like he’s been taught since he was young. All he can see is the feet of the men who have walked up to where he is kneeling. Unlike him the men are clothed, expensively by what little Khadgar can see. He feels a hand yank on the chain connected to his collar, tilting his head upwards. He’s caught in a piercing blue gaze, the man next to his handler looking at him with a look of undisguised want.  
This man, fortunately Khadgar thinks, is at least attractive, unlike most of the clients who have bought time with him. He ignores the conversation going on between his handler and the man, but sees the money pass from the client’s hands into his handler’s.   
Confusion sweeps over Khadgars face as the man leads him by the chain towards the door out of the stables, instead of towards the pleasure suites upstairs. It appears the man isn’t a new client as Khadgar had thought, but instead his new owner.   
He’s placed in the back of a large vehicle, his chain not attached to anything as they leave the only home Khadgar can remember ever having. The ride is silent, the new owner not speaking, only a subtle tick of anger showing at the corner of his bearded jaw from where Khadgar can see.   
He’s led inside a large, immaculate looking house when the ride has ended and servants take the chain from his new master, leading him into a massive bath chamber. There is a bathtub, full of hot, soapy water, and Khadgar just stands in the doorway, looking at it with a sense of longing that he knows he shouldn’t feel. He barely feels the hands of the servants as they unclasp the collar, and he raises his hand to his neck, feeling the bare skin there for the first time since he was a small child. He’s bewildered at why the servants have removed the collar, and even more so when they silently lead him to the bath, helping him into the perfectly warm water, leaving him as soon as he’s in the tub.  
Khadgar hears footsteps approach the bath chamber, and looks to see his new master standing in the doorway, a guarded look upon his face. “Why did they remove the collar?” he asks, before dropping his face in shame. He had no right to speak to his master without being given permission.  
“Because I freed you, young one. You are no slave, not anymore,” the rich voice responds, the man still.  
Khadgar doesn’t know what to say to those words, he’s been a slave most of his life. His parents sold him when he was a boy to pay off debts and then, then after he had hit puberty his masters at the Kirin Tor had sold him once more, this time to the pleasure stables. For over a decade now he had been nothing but a toy, basically a whore, but unlike a prostitute he had no say in who used him. He’d been taken by many people, bored, rich nobles who wanted things that their spouses and mistresses couldn’t provide them. He’d been beaten, abused, taken repeatedly by many people, until they were nothing but a faceless line of bodies, until he was numb, spirit broken, until he thought the only way out of the life that the fates had given him would be death.  
Finally Khadgar spoke, “If I’m not a slave then what am I?”  
“We’ll find out together, I think.”  
-  
Lothar was near. Khadgar was sure of it. It was as if he could feel the older man’s presence close by. He wanted to call out, wanted to beg Lothar to help him, but he couldn’t. That oppressive feeling of nothingness clung to him like a dense fog, and he struggled to free himself before the waves of darkness once more crashed over him.  
-  
Khadgar lay staring up at the clouds, his head resting on Lothar’s chest. The day was peaceful, a soft breeze blowing, the scent of flowers wafting lightly over them. He felt Lothar place a kiss upon his forehead and turned his head up, kissing his lover softly. Days like these were few and far between, days where they could relax, no visiting dignitaries to deal with, no impending attack from the neighboring kingdoms, no subjects demanding this or that, no meddling fairies or dragons or other supernatural beings causing mischief in their lands.   
“If only our days could be spent like this, my love,” Lothar said softly, his voice having a wistful quality to it. As always Lothar seemed to know exactly where Khadgar’s thoughts lie.  
“But if our days were always like this then we’d both be wanting some excitement to entertain us.”  
“Never,” Lothar said, pulling Khadgar and himself into a seated position, wrapping his arms around the younger man’s body. “I need no excitement save for what we share together in our passion.”  
Khadgar chuckled, knowing exactly what Lothar was going to say. They’d had this conversation many times in the years they were together. He smiled, stealing a kiss from Lothar before speaking, “The children wish for another sibling, my heart.”  
“And you? What do you wish for?”  
“We have so much to give, another would not be a burden.”  
Lothar nodded, resting their foreheads together. “Then we will go out and search.”  
Khadgar gave a content sigh, already envisioning which boy or girl they would find in need of a family that they would bring into their home, into their hearts. Already they had adopted over a dozen children, Humans, Elves, even a young Orc, all of them orphans in need of a loving home. Khadgar was correct, their kingdom was a prosperous one, and he and Lothar had plenty to give, love, a home, and a purpose.  
-  
The terror seemed to be fading, and Khadgar felt a start of a smile come across his face painfully. Again he heard the muffled voices, and felt hands on him. He knew Lothar was there, was certain that the concerned voice that never left him was the warrior he loved so completely and so secretly. He wanted to scream out “no” as the darkness absorbed him once more.  
-  
Khadgar raced down the smoke filled corridor, the corrosive fumes stinging his eyes. He needed to make it to an escape pod or he, like most of the crew, including the captain, would be dead. The invading aliens were blocking most of the access paths, and Khadgar feared that he wouldn’t live to make it back to his beloved homeworld of Azeroth.  
He let out a terrified yelp when he felt a large hand grab the back of his uniform, dragging him into another corridor. Turning he saw the ship’s first officer, Lothar, raising one finger to his lips to silence him. He followed the officer down the twisting hallways, silent save for his ragged breathing. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity they were in one of the ship’s docking bays, one that thankfully the Horde invaders had not gotten to yet.   
Khadgar followed Lothar onto one of the smaller ships, the Gryphon, and gave a breath of relief as they escaped the doomed Stormwind. Khadgar could see the anger on Lothar’s face, knowing that the man had been close to their captain, not only was he the man’s first officer, but he was his brother-in-law. Khadgar knew that if they survived this, Lothar would be the one to have to inform his sister that her husband had been killed.  
“Medivh sold us out to the Horde. He gave them our coordinates and dropped our shields when they were in range of us.”  
Khadgar was shocked. Medivh had been one of the most skilled members of the Alliance Science Academy, Khadgar himself had trained under the man, and the only reason Khadgar had even been aboard the Stormwind was because Medivh had requested his presence for this particular mission.  
-  
“We have to let the poison run it’s course, Commander,” Khadgar heard, as he came back to reality once more. His mind was feeling overwhelmed by the constant stream of images that flooded through it. They all seemed so real, so true, that Khadgar feared for his sanity once this ordeal was over. This time as the darkness approached he welcomed it as an old friend, deciding to stop fighting the inevitable.  
-  
The bonds held tight as usual, Khadgar saw, yet pulled at them once again. He knew he shouldn’t do so, they’d only keep him like this as long as he was “a threat to himself and others” and thrashing around in his straightjacket only made them believe he was a threat. He cursed mentally, entertaining himself with images of what he was going to do to those who held him a prisoner in this hospital if ever he was freed. The phantom taste of blood filled his mouth and Khadgar moaned in ecstasy at the imagined taste. He wasn’t mad, not in the way his doctors believed at any rate, but when he was free of this place they would learn why the called him “The Demon”.  
-  
Khadgar began to thrash in his bed, pain ripping through his until recently numb body. He felt as if he was being hit over and over again by lightning. He wanted to scream, but his voice still wouldn’t come. He was trapped in his own body, bound by some supernatural poison that was doing its best to either drive him mad or kill him. He felt the darkness arrive once more, and mentally lashed out at it, refusing to succumb to it’s seductive embrace. But sadly, the darkness was stronger than he was, and once more it took him inside of it.  
-  
Khadgar could hear the sound of hooves galloping up the path towards his tower. He gave a sigh, yet another knight coming to save the “damsel in distress” only to leave the moment they found out the damsel was a he. ‘It wasn’t fair,’ he thought, not for the first time. How many knights or princes had it been now? Khadgar had lost track after 20. Each time they arrived, and he had felt his heart swell with excitement in the prospect of being finally able to leave his prison, and each time he had been heartbroken as the rider had left on realizing that Khadgar was not a girl.  
He looked out the window, staring down at the figure who had stopped before his tower, the man’s long hair moving in the early morning breeze, the sunlight glittering off of his armor. Even from this distance Khadgar could tell the man was handsome, and he practically sobbed at the unfairness of it all.  
“I am Sir Lothar of Stormwind. I am here to rescue you,” the man called up.  
“You won’t want to rescue me,” Khadgar called down sadly, peeking his head out of the window.  
“And why is that, fair lad?” the knight responded.  
“As you can see I am not a lady or princess or any other female of noble birth.”  
“Yes, I can see that. And why would that prevent me from rescuing you?”  
“Because that’s what you all do, you knights and princes and lords. You come to my tower and leave when you find out I am not a girl.”  
“Then they lack both decency and sight. You are far more beautiful than any of the ladies of Stormwind itself. And a decent person, one worthy of being called a knight would have rescued you regardless of your sex, to leave a prisoner trapped for the simple fact of what sex one is is reprehensible.”  
Khadgar watched as the knight used some device he had never seen before to send a rope up to Khadgar’s windowsill. The knight began climbing up, his gaze on Khadgar’s face the entire time. As the man drew closer Khadgar could see even more intensely how handsome he was. He stepped backwards, allowing the knight to enter his chamber, his breath caught in his throat, at a loss for words.  
“I was right, your beauty does far outshine that of any I have ever met before.”  
Khadgar felt his face flush with embarrassment at the flattery, bowing low to introduce himself, “I am Khadgar.”  
Lothar smiled, taking Khadgar’s hand in his own, kissing it tenderly, “I am honored to meet you, Khadgar. What say you that we leave this place and I take you to the kingdom I call home?”  
Khadgar nodded, allowing the knight to rescue him from his prison.  
-  
Khadgar felt arms wrapped around his body, holding him tightly. He felt safe, so safe in those arms, protected, maybe even loved. He could hear once more, the muffled words somehow reaching him. “You can’t die, Khadgar. I can’t lose you, too. I’ve already lost too much, lost too many that I loved. I can’t have you die without knowing how much I love you.” Khadgar didn’t hear the rest as he was once more dragged down into the darkness.  
-  
Khadgar watched the milling crowd around him. Soldiers, civilians, all bustling around doing their work. The General was giving orders to her troops, pausing briefly when she saw Khadgar and King Varian Wrynn approach her. She bowed to them, a weary expression on her face. Khadgar knew the feeling far too well, the almost overwhelming sense of grimness that seemed to want to pull you under. She shook the look off her face, following the head of the Alliance into her command center, leaving Khadgar behind. The Archmage turned around, watching once more the people who filled her garrison, knowing without doubt that all too soon they would be leaving this world, returning home to Azeroth.   
But was that really Khadgar’s home anymore? He had spent decades living in Outland. He’d spent the better part of his adult life there, and now he’d been here, on Draenor in an alternate timeline trying to prevent what had happened in his own timeline to another one. What really did Khadgar have in that world? Oh he’d protect it with his very life, but was it truly his home?  
-  
There were tears in Khadgar’s eyes. Even in his prone state he could feel them forming, slowly falling down his face. He could still feel Lothar’s arms wrapped around him securely, the older man whispering to him, trying to get through to him. He felt Lothar’s lips on his forehead and for a brief moment felt himself coming back to himself, and then the darkness once more.  
-  
He watched with horror as Lothar fell to his knees, blood soaking through the chest of his uniform, the assassin’s bullet piercing Lothar’s heart. He was dead before he hit the ground.  
-  
Khadgar screamed as the cops dragged Lothar away, the other man bruised and bloody, a look of madness glinting in his eyes. Khadgar fought against the hands holding him, yanked his arms causing the cuffs on his wrists to cut into his skin. He screamed over and over again until he felt the needle go into his neck, the sedative swiftly coursing through his system.  
-  
Khadgar watched through hooded lids as Lothar stood under the waterfall, the cool, clean water cascading over his naked flesh. He approached his lover, letting himself be wrapped in those arms he loved so much. They kissed, rocking against each other as the water pounded over them, drowning their moans of pleasure.  
-  
The masked figure stalked Khadgar throughout the crowded ballroom, coming closer and closer with each passing moment. Khadgar grinned, backing into a darkened corner, feeling arms move to pin him to the wall. He moaned, low, deep in his throat with the masked man, his beloved Anduin, kissed him hard, possessively, reaffirming their bond. He knew this was risky, that if anyone were to see the two of them like this that they both faced death, but the taste of Anduin’s lips was like a drug he was unable and unwilling to fight the addiction to.  
-  
Khadgar watched with grim determination as the prisoner was brought in before him. He knew the man was doomed, yet for his final request he had asked for a priest. Khadgar gave the man his last rights before “the Lion” was dragged off to be executed for his crimes.  
-  
On and on it went. Khadgar felt himself moving from one life to the next, swiftly, brutally, his mind almost fracturing from the stress. Then something changed. He felt himself being pulled down, back into his own mind, his own body, held in place by something or someone stronger than the vile poison that cursed through his body. He felt lips upon his own, tears not his own falling onto his cheeks.   
He gasped and began to cough, feeling as though something was clawing it’s way up his windpipe and out his mouth. He shoved the person next to him away, barely getting his head over the side of his bed before a black, sickly fluid oozes from his mouth and lands on the ground, sizzling and smoking. He keeps hacking up the liquid, feeling a hand on his back, rubbing it in soothing circles, comforting him as he expels the poisonous substance from his body. He does this for what feels like hours, falling back onto the bed, exhausted, drained, feeling like his soul and mind have been shredded.   
Lothar is there, seated on the bed, helping him into a more comfortable position. The man looks like he hasn’t slept in days and his eyes are red and puffy, as if he’d been sobbing.  
“Lothar,” Khadgar says, his voice wrecked, raw, the word painful on his throat. He gives a small smile, as much as his worn out body will allow and then falls into a peaceful slumber.  
Lothar is there when he awakes, now dressed in clean clothes, looking more rested than he had when Khadgar last saw him. Khadgar smiles gratefully, reaching out his hand to the older man, giving a content sigh when Lothar intertwines their fingers.  
“Don’t you do something like that again, Khadgar,” Lothar says, his voice raw with emotion.  
Khadgar looks at him, truly looks at him, giving himself permission to do more than give furtive glances at the man he loves more than his own life.  
“Don’t you dare do something so foolish like that that almost made me lose you. I can’t lose you, Khadgar.”  
“Lothar,” Khadgar says, then begins again, “Anduin, I… I’m sorry. I...” Khadgar doesn’t know what to say.  
“Khadgar, I need to tell you something. You can hate me if you need to, but I need to tell you this. I love you. I think I fell in love with you the second we met. For the first time in a very long time I felt alive, fully and completely alive. These last few weeks, I’ve barely left your side. They’ve had to drag me off and use spells on me so I would get some sleep.”  
“Weeks?” Khadgar asked, his eyes wide with shock.  
“Almost a month now, Khadgar.”  
“Oh, Anduin. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’ve been so weak. I’m sorry I couldn’t fight my way through this faster. I’m sorry that I almost left you never letting you know how much I love you. I never… I never thought you felt the same way. I didn’t want to ruin the only real friendship I’ve ever had by telling you how deeply I feel about you.”  
Lothar looked at his mage, and yes Khadgar was his mage, knowing deep down that without these last few weeks of torment neither of them would have gotten up the courage to tell each other how they felt, both too worried that they would lose the other, if even as a friend, if they admitted what was in their hearts. “I’d sit here talking to you, holding you, begging you to come back to me. The healers couldn’t do anything, they couldn’t save you. I felt so empty as I watched you slowly slipping away. Where were you?”  
Khadgar shook his head. He was so tired, but he forced himself to stay awake, to stay with Lothar. “I don’t know. Everywhere, nowhere. There were… there was so much pain, but there was also so much love. You were there most of the time. I was… me but at the same time not me, a different me, a possible me if things were different. Is that making any sense? When I was in those other Khadgars I WAS those Khadgars, they were who I was. I felt all their pain, their sorrow, their joy, their ecstasy, their fear. I was them. And I’d keep coming back to myself, trapped in my own body, unable to communicate, I was… I was so terrified that by the time it was finally over I’d be mad, broken. A few of the Khadgars I was were that way, either empty shells of who they were or worse,” he shuddered at the memories, “monsters in human flesh, evil, twisted parodies of who I am.”  
Lothar held him even tighter, kissing Khadgar’s forehead, holding the younger man while he broke down sobbing.   
“There were good lives though. Lives where… I was so happy, felt so loved. Part of me never wanted to leave. But then I’d come back here, and I’d FEEL your presence and I never wanted to leave, not just a part of me, but my whole being wanted to be here with you, in whatever way I could have you.”  
“You have me, Khadgar, all of me, for as long as you want me,” Lothar said, cupping the mage’s face in his palms, giving him a soft yet emotional kiss.   
“Until we both breathe no more, is that long enough for you?”  
“I think I can work with that.”  
Khadgar smiled, resting in Lothar’s arms. He was still weak and would need time to regain his strength. But he knew that no matter what this life or any other were to throw at him as long as Anduin Lothar was at his side he’d be alright.

**Author's Note:**

> For anyone who wishes to do so, any and all of the different realities that Khadgar finds himself in are available to be used as prompts as it were. Just @ me if you use them


End file.
